The Thing To Say Every Time You’re Angry

A simple framework for buying time to think

Illustration: Abbey Lossing

In this angry, anxious, and polarized time, it’s easy to lash out, whether on social media or at people in your real life. And we often end up wishing we didn’t: One survey found that a majority of social media users had posted something they regretted.

So buy yourself time — not just to calm down (though that is helpful!) but to formulate a response that achieves your goals with the least collateral damage.

How to Deal With Posting Something You Regret

Repeat these sentences every time you’re angry: “Let me process that. I’ll get back to you.” Remove yourself from the situation, whether for just a minute or (if necessary) for longer. Then, proceed to “process” and formulate a response with this simple, three-question framework:

Will I care about this in a year?

This dials down the temperature, because very few things turn out to matter in the long run. In 12 months, you will not remember the person who yelled at you for parking in the wrong spot, the hot email…