The Self-Help Industry Needs an Empathy Check

No one improves themselves in a vacuum

Kristin Wong
Forge

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Illustration: Laurie Rollitt

The problem that Kenny Trinh was using self-help to solve was his shyness. The bigger problem was what it turned him into.

Trinh was a self-described “meek and shy” office worker who wanted to become a self-assured CEO type. “I wanted to be the smart, confident person in the room,” Trinh says, but “I was lacking in social skills and I didn’t believe in myself.” Looking for a transformation, he turned to self-help, reading a library of books on leadership and self-esteem. “I read them as if my life depended on it,” he says.

And according to Trinh, the strategy worked: He credits his whirlwind tour through self-help literature with giving him the confidence to launch his business, the technology-review site Netbook News, where he now manages a small team of workers.

But when it comes to personal growth, “worked” is a relative concept. Trinh’s journey toward self-improvement came with a noticeable side effect: He became That Guy. Inspired by all he’d read, he began preaching his newfound lessons to friends, family, and anyone else who would listen. Someone mentioned a problem in their life? Trinh was there, ready to talk about a seven-step plan that would most definitely fix it, or to point out the ways they were holding…

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Kristin Wong
Forge
Writer for

Kristin Wong has written for the New York Times, The Cut, Catapult, The Atlantic and ELLE.