The Secret Trap That’s Keeping You Stuck
What to do when you can’t just “move past it”
One lovely summer Saturday night, sitting at a half-empty Starbucks on the Upper East Side, I realized I had made a terrible mistake.
I had just bailed at the last minute on the bachelorette weekend of one of my closest friends. My hotel was paid for. Travel arrangements were made, and my bus trip from New York City down to the Jersey Shore was just hours away. I was excited to see all my friends from college in one place. For months, I anticipated the inside jokes and belly laughs we would share while celebrating the bride. But these hopes were always accompanied by guilt:
You have work to do. Who do you think you are, taking an entire weekend off to run around a beach resort? What about your career? You’re going to fall behind. Everyone is going to think you’re lazy.
Honestly, some of my fears were justified. At the time, I was working in a high-pressure job as a health care researcher. My day started and ended with a two-hour commute. And if that wasn’t enough, I was trying to build my coaching practice on the side.
Every day, I would wake up at dawn, start working, and not stop until I fell asleep with my computer on the bed. Then I’d do it all again the next day.
