The Real Solution to Impostor Syndrome

A therapist explains why it’s not just about finding confidence

Kathleen Smith
Forge

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Photo: chee gin tan/Getty Images

One thing I can say with confidence about remote work: It does absolutely nothing to ease impostor syndrome. Over the past year, even as the world turned upside down, many of my therapy clients have continued to battle work-related worries: They don’t deserve a recent promotion; they aren’t qualified to give that upcoming Zoom presentation; they find it hard to feel professional and accomplished when the sink is full of dishes and they haven’t worn real pants in weeks.

People who struggle with imposter syndrome often think the solution is to build up more confidence — psyching themselves up in the mirror, or trying out a couple power poses, or maybe texting a friend or colleague for some moral support. But these strategies are only a temporary fix.

That’s because objectivity, not confidence, is the solution to imposter syndrome. The people who tend to be the least anxious about a big meeting or a new promotion are those who can evaluate themselves realistically, without relying too much on praise or criticism from others.

But it’s difficult to be clear-eyed about your own performance if you don’t have your own definition of what you’re trying to do or who you’re trying to be. Without this thinking…

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Kathleen Smith
Forge
Writer for

Kathleen Smith is a therapist and author of the books Everything Isn’t Terrible and True to You. She writes about anxiety, relationships, and Bowen theory.