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The Problem With Assuming Positive Intent
Assuming everyone has the best intentions is a complicated matter for people of color
For four years, Kathy has been my most problematic neighbor. I live in an apartment building in a large city, and I am not exaggerating when I say that every person in the building tries to accommodate her. No one uses the communal laundry room on “her” day. We try to keep our cats quiet in case the noise sets her off.
Kathy, however, doesn’t seem to give much thought to respecting our boundaries. She and her family have loud arguments on the daily—profanity-laced bouts that can occur at any time of day or night. Despite her own apparent sensitivity to sound — she once asked me not to vacuum after she gets home from work — Kathy recently responded explosively to my request to be “mindful of noise” on a day when I had to record interviews for a story.
The ensuing conflict upset me enough to send me venting to another neighbor, who was no stranger to Kathy’s ire. But when I finished blowing off steam and asked this neighbor for advice on how to proceed, she told me to assume positive intent on Kathy’s part.
Former Pepsi CEO Indra Nooyi is credited with popularizing the phrase “assume positive intent,” a form of empathetic listening that can prevent situations…
