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The Privilege of ‘Always Negotiate’
For women and people of color, career advice meant to empower can have the opposite effect

“Always negotiate.”
“Ask for what you want.”
“Charge what you’re worth.”
If I had a dollar for every piece of career advice I’ve read that boiled down to have more confidence, I probably wouldn’t need to negotiate anything ever again.
And of course, advocating for yourself makes a difference. I asked for more money for this very story. But for women and people of color, headlines like “Why You Should Always Ask for More Money” can ring hollow. Like much of the professional world, they weren’t created with us in mind.
So much traditional career advice perpetuates the idea that success will come to those confident enough to demand it, while glossing over the reality of who feels empowered enough to do so. It assumes a level playing field that doesn’t exist, a world where boldness is a great equalizer. “Carry yourself with the confidence of a mediocre White man” is a catchy enough meme, but it works a lot better if you can actually be a White man, too.
A 2014 study by Harvard Business Review surveyed 4,600 employees, both men and women, to find out how often each group asked for a pay increase. While women asked for a raise just as often as men, they were granted that raise 15% of the time, compared to 20% for men. More recently, a 2018 report from the compensation-software company PayScale found that while there were no racial differences in terms of who was likeliest to ask for a raise, women of color were 19% less likely to get a “yes” than white men, and men of color were 25% less likely.
“It’s demoralizing to apply these concepts and demand what you’re worth and still be told ‘no,’” says Sarah Morgan, host of the podcast Leading in Color and CEO of BuzzARooney LLC, a consultancy that helps businesses build inclusive workplace cultures.