The Pandemic Finally Killed the Self-Care Myth

What happens when “just take care of yourself” starts to sound a lot like “pull yourself up by your bootstraps”?

Rainesford Stauffer
Forge
Published in
6 min readMay 14, 2021

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Photo: Images by Tang Ming Tung/Getty Images

I think it was the suggestion that I join an after-work mental health workshop that involved a quiz at the end. Or maybe it was the earnest pitch offering a desktop extension to make my laptop “cozier,” whatever that means.

I’m not sure exactly which moment was the tipping point, but I do know this much: In the middle of a pandemic, the years of chipper notes to make time for self-care and wellness reminders from schools and workplaces made it official. The idea of taking care of myself started to stress me out.

Really, the problem was that I already had enough to do, an issue countless other people have to a much more profound degree. Nurses working in the Covid-19 unit, frontline workers making minimum wage with no hazard pay, employees in a variety of fields experiencing burnout and trauma, people trying to juggle caretaking with work and safety — the list of people who fundamentally do not have time or resources to care for themselves, people who need structural solutions, not impossible reminders to “put their mental health first!,” is endless.

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Rainesford Stauffer
Forge
Writer for

Author of An Ordinary Age, out 5/4/2021. Freelance writer. Kentuckian.