The One Word That Can End Any Argument
For me, it’s ‘banana’
My wife and I had been married for about a year when we started having disagreements pretty frequently. Nothing we couldn’t get through, but the disputes became draining and were taking a toll on our relationship. One day, after arguing about something I can’t even remember, I called my mom to vent. She listened to me go on and on, and when I was finally done, she gave me this advice: “Michael, if you want to have a successful marriage, you have to eat a lot of bananas.”
Uh, what?
“Let me explain,” she said. “Every time you’re on the verge of getting into an argument and saying something you might later regret, say ‘banana,’ and then go into the kitchen, grab a banana, and eat it as slowly as you can. After you’re finished, if you’re still upset and want to fight, go for it. But eat that banana first.”
The advice sounded flat-out ridiculous. But I kept thinking about it. What if it was crazy enough to work?
Few actions cool a heated moment faster than giving it space. If you sense a disagreement is headed in a downward spiral, saying something as absurd as “banana” can jolt you out of the moment, giving you a chance to check your emotions. I don’t think you necessarily need to eat a banana for the strategy to be effective — you can just say…
