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The Odd Power of Loneliness Can Change the Way You Think
Getting to know this often-understood state of mind can have major benefits
You’re a dangerous person if you go through things alone and come back better — @IAmAaronWill
Most of my biggest problems in life have been solved by loneliness. That’s the opposite of what you’ll typically hear.
Lose the love of your life? Go out for a night on the town. Get a cancer diagnosis? Go with your friends to tick things off your bucket list. Want to build a business? Network your face off. Want to be a content creator? Get lots of followers and have people like you.
Since all of the lockdowns began, I’ve had to get good at being lonely. As I write this, I still can’t leave my home or see friends. Restaurants are no longer havens to sit down and socialize. A lonely takeaway meal is all I’m allowed if I want to stay out of jail. Socializing is illegal where I live.
The idea of loneliness hit me again recently. I found out I have severe tinnitus, in which my hearing has the addition of high-pitched noises that are the definition of insanity. Don’t believe me? Famous artist Vincent Van Goh had the same condition. He chopped his own ear off trying to solve the problem. Still, today, there is no cure for tinnitus.
I posted the story on social media, as I do with every moment in my life, to try to make sense of it all. The post went viral. My inbox was flooded with hundreds of messages from strangers on the internet.
Then it hit me: I just want to be alone.
To have your hearing permanently altered feels like a disability. It’s like saying goodbye to one of your legs. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I love music. I love podcasts. But now I have to be away from those things so I don’t make my tinnitus worse. Hearing is now a huge privilege to me, when previously I took it for granted.
Until I could be alone with my new fate, I couldn’t talk about it with others.
Since the diagnosis I’ve spent a lot of time alone. For the first time in years, I’ve walked through nature without a pair of Apple earphones on. I’ve sat in a dark room to try and make sense of…
