The Most Caring Way to Start a Text Message
The power of saying ‘You don’t need to respond to this’
Earlier this year, when I had Covid, people naturally checked in on me by text during my illness and recovery.
All of the messages came from a place of caring. But they all kind of stressed me out, too.
I loved receiving and reading the support, but I felt overwhelmed by the expectation, either implicit or explicit, that I respond. How was I feeling, people wanted to know? Too overwhelmed and tired to answer any texts, was the honest answer.
This went on for weeks. It wasn’t until after I felt better that I realized how to avoid inflicting this on others in the future. When you send a caring message or an offer of help to a friend or loved one who’s going through a hard time, add the simple disclaimer, “You don’t have to respond to this, but…”
Chrissy Teigen, in writing about losing her son Jack, noted that of the thousands of messages she received after she shared her loss publicly, the ones that provided deep relief were the ones that included the “no need to respond” disclaimer. A year into this pandemic, with so many people going through so many hard things, I think this is a habit worth picking up and sticking with. Whether you’re offering help, just saying you’re thinking…
