Member-only story
The Mantra That Made Me Stop Worrying About My Insomnia
It’s brutal but reassuring
When you tell a medical professional that you can’t sleep, they tend to reply with a familiar script: How’s your sleep hygiene? How close to bedtime do you check your email? Have you tried yoga or a mediation app?
How quaint, I think to myself. If all it took were a bit of lavender oil and foregoing an afternoon cup of coffee to ward off my recurring bouts of serious insomnia, I wouldn’t have found myself — after about three weeks of little to no sleep — at an emergency doctor’s appointment in February.
Begging for some way — any way! — to find sleep again, I tried to preempt the script by making the case that I’d already checked all the usual boxes: regular exercise, putting my phone away long before bed, cutting back on caffeine. I was there strictly for pharmaceuticals, preferably strong ones.
But this time, after listening to my spiel, the doctor looked at me matter-of-factly and said: “You know, insomnia will not kill you.”
I gulped back tears and said, “Well, yeah, but it makes life pretty difficult to live.” The doctor, no-nonsense but kind, agreed. But here’s the thing, she said: Plenty of doctors and military personnel manage long periods with little to no sleep. It’s unpleasant and far from…
