The Hottest Winter Accessory Is ‘Emotional Space’
A therapist’s advice for how to create some distance from other people’s problems — even when you’re stuck with them 24/7
As the coming pandemic winter forces us all to live even more fully at home, you may find yourself struggling more than ever to carve out your own emotional space. One person’s stress becomes contagious. An unending stream of other people broadcasting their inner monologues makes it impossible to spend time with your own thoughts. One person’s slacking off or shutting down pushes you to take over their responsibilities.
So, how do you hold onto the ability to act — and feel — like your own person?
As a therapist, I often help my clients think about how to become less responsible for other people’s thoughts and behaviors and more responsible for their own. And the more you can practice doing this now, the better shape you’ll be in for all that quarantine togetherness in the months to come.
Let people be responsible for themselves
Humans do a few predictable things when we become anxious, and one of them is to assume responsibility for those around us, a behavior called overfunctioning.
