The Fears That Keep Us Silent When We Should Speak Up
For most of history, speaking up was about the most dangerous thing an ordinary human could do
Despite a lot of encouragement, despite political freedoms, and psychological exhortations, most of us still suffer in silence. We don’t say — until it is far too late — what is wrong, what we want, how we are angry, what we’re ashamed of, and the way we would like things to be.
It shouldn’t be a surprise. For most of the history of humanity, speaking up was about the most dangerous thing an ordinary human could do. There were mighty superiors above us who demanded complete obedience and were strictly uninterested in anything we might have to say. Speaking up would have gotten us flogged, excommunicated, or killed. Democracy is, at best, some 250 years old, and our psychological development has a habit of lagging far beyond our social realities. Long after a war is over, we respond with the fears of the hunted. Centuries after the last feudal lord moved into an apartment in town, we behave with some of the meek humility of the cowed serf.
In personal life, similar principles of submission have applied. Throughout history, a good child did not speak up. If we were sad, we cried softly into our pillow at night. If we mistakenly spilled some ink, we…
