The Fastest Way to Become the Person You Want to Be

Personality isn’t fixed — we just let ourselves get predictable

Benjamin Hardy, PhD
Forge
Published in
4 min readJun 16, 2020

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A photo of a mixed-race man, with a presentation reflected on his glasses.
Photo: Kelvin Murray/Getty Images

People tend to default to the roles imposed by social environments. Putting yourself in new environments, around new people, and taking on new roles are the quickest ways to access different facets of your personality, for better or worse. Fully take on the roles you assume, and you’ll change from the outside in.

To break from a common understanding of personality as innate and unchangeable, it helps to consider the etymology. The word “personality” comes from the Latin word persona: a mask worn by an actor in a theater, or a character acted onstage. In real life, too, we wear different masks and play different roles. As William Shakespeare wrote, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts.”

Think about this for a minute: Are you always the same person? Do you really feel like the same person in all situations and circumstances? Of course not. In some situations, you may be quiet, awkward, or shy. In others, you’re on top of the world. The “you” that shows up is very different depending on the situation.

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Benjamin Hardy, PhD
Forge
Writer for

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