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The Emotional Value of Intense Experiences
For a meaningful life, research says, you need to embrace extremes
My sister recently did something either impressive or utterly baffling, depending on your point of view: She organized and led a 16-day rafting trip down the Colorado river, navigating roughly 250 miles of whitewater through the Grand Canyon, entirely cut off from civilization.
As soon as she regained cell service, she called me, exhilarated. “It was 108 degrees in the shade!” she enthused, adding with excitement that one person got a flesh-eating bacterial infection between their toes. As she described running the most terrifying rapid, she sounded as happy and fully alive as she has ever been.
To some people, spending two weeks without a flushable toilet, dealing with mortal peril and toe rot, is the very definition of hell. Yet nearly all of us will seek out an intense, difficult experience at some point: taking a dangerous rafting trip, writing a dissertation, eating scorchingly hot salsa, giving birth.
At the same time, we’re inundated with messaging about the importance of maintaining “balance” in our lives. A peaceful life, we’re told — one with boundaries, calmness, moderation, and a lack of stress — is worth striving for. So why are we still so driven to do things that are…
