The Danger of Being ‘Responsible’
How to break free of “good girl” conditioning
In our efforts to remain safe and not judged by others, we often orient ourselves in a manner to make sure we’re doing everything “right.”
On the surface, this can appear to be a decent way to live and be in the world. Who doesn’t want to be a good person? Who doesn’t want to try to work hard, recycle, be kind, save money, donate, follow the rules, walk the straight and narrow, and live righteously?
But too often, this unconscious or subtle moral code of wanting to be “good” and be perceived as virtuous is actually one of the most limiting, stifling, and menacing ways of being.
I sometimes refer to this with my clients as the “responsibility shadow.” Clients, especially sensitive women, orient their entire lives towards not being called “irresponsible.” They then also often wield the word “irresponsible” as a judgment towards others, a way they tuck themselves in at night to remind themselves they are safe and protected.
They also use “irresponsible” as a reason not to go after the things they want.
It wouldn’t be “responsible” to:
- Leave a job
- Travel for a year
- Date that person
