The Case for the Anti-Bucket List

There’s a better way to keep track of your goals

Kristin Wong
Forge

--

Photo: Graiki/Getty Images

I’ve always had some version of a bucket list — road trips I wanted to take, skills I wanted to master, professional achievements to hit. With life on uneasy pause early in the pandemic, though, there wasn’t much I could do to make progress toward a lot of those someday goals. I could only stew over the things I wasn’t doing.

Then I realized: The stewing wasn’t anything new. The bucket list wasn’t inspiring; it was draining.

It had always been draining.

Even those of us who don’t identify as planners thrive on plans. It’s the way our brains are built: Anticipating the future is the psychological equivalent of taking our vitamins, a nourishing activity that makes us healthier and more resilient. And we all have things we’d like our future selves to accomplish, even if we aren’t actively working toward them right now: Maybe you want to learn photography, or travel to Japan, or write a book, or jump out of an airplane.

But sometimes our dreams and aspirations can be more distracting than motivating. It’s hard to find any joy in the present moment if you’re constantly in search of the next thing. Sure, there are some items on your to-do list that may be more of a priority to your present happiness, like…

--

--

Kristin Wong
Forge
Writer for

Kristin Wong has written for the New York Times, The Cut, Catapult, The Atlantic and ELLE.