The 4 Timeless Traits of Actual Masculinity
A gentlemen’s guide to being a man in the 21st century
“There is one rule, above all others, for being a man. Whatever comes, face it on your feet.”
— Lan Mandragoran, The Wheel of Time
Several years ago, I found myself plagued by a question that stumped fellow men. So broad — and confusing — were the responses to the lone question that it spawned a viral article over my own laments about manhood. That question, however, never resolved, and three years later, the responses got even murkier. The answer I wanted resolved from my fellow men was, “where did you learn to be a man?”
The problem — and even more so today — is that the responses became tangential. As in, “Do you mean like who taught me how to change the oil in my car? Or how to tie a tie? Or how to fight? Or love football?” One guy recently told me he grew up without a dad so he didn’t really learn to be a “man.” His statement garnered head nods from other men in the room. What he said next, however, impressed upon me the depth of his emotional awareness and the sad state of affairs for many men.
“Because I didn’t have a dad, I joined the Army,” he said. “And from there, I collected sergeants and officers as my father figures. Most of them were just as confused as I was because they grew up without…
