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Forge
A publication from Medium on personal development.

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20 statements to help you see things differently

Photo: Ravi Roshan on Unsplash

Unless you’ve been off the planet for the past five years, you’re probably aware of the importance of adopting a “growth mindset” — or at least you’ve heard the term. Researcher Carol Dweck’s influential TED Talk and her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success emphasize the importance of the growth mindset. But simply adopting this way of seeing the world is easier said than done. Integral to a growth mindset is an acceptance of neuroplasticity — the brain’s ability to make new connections and reorganize synaptic connections.

A growth mindset is about adopting an outlook that says “I can…


Train your brain to master the art of controlled anticipation

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Tell me if this rings a bell: After a long, long, long stretch of pandemic sameness, you finally have something on the calendar that has you looking forward — maybe a date with a friend you haven’t seen in forever, or a weekend day trip, or just a coveted afternoon alone, away from the people you’ve been cooped up with. You’re excited. You’re eager. You’re ready. And then, suddenly, it’s here and then over — and by the time the next week is out, you can barely remember how great you felt.

It’s natural. We have a tendency to tear…


How to go from self-critic to self-coach

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I recently watched a 2018 Netflix special with David Letterman and Jerry Seinfeld in which the two legendary entertainers took turns interviewing each other on stage. What struck me most was how much the two differed in their approach to compliments: Seinfeld was gracious and appreciative whenever Letterman noted his incredible career success while Letterman rejected or downplayed any positive comment Seinfeld made about his career.

It came off more as self-loathing than modesty. “I should have left [the show] 10 years ago,” Letterman said at one point, “because then I could have taken some of that energy and focus…


From drawing a bird to forgiving your ex

Illustrations by the author

A few years ago, I was feeling lost. “Stuck in the weeds” was how I kept referring to my state of existence. A little voice in my head kept telling me, incessantly, “You can’t do anything.” It literally said those words!

One day, I woke up feeling tired of the voice. So I decided to slap back. “Surely I can do some things!” I said out loud. (A word of advice: It’s best to argue with the mean voices in your head in the privacy of your own home.)

I decided to make this a project: I would write about…


Here’s how to silence the constant critic in your head

Photo: Tara Moore/Getty Images

The other day, I did one of those random acts of kindness for a stranger. I won’t go into specifics, because I don’t want to be that guy. I’ll just say it was nicer than holding the door for someone but not as nice as donating a kidney.

What was interesting to me, though, was the way my inner monologue played out afterward. When I got back in my car, I sat for a moment and enjoyed the warm, glowy feelings of doing something nice for a stranger. I thought, “Hey, that was a kind thing you did. Good job.”

Forge

A publication from Medium on personal development.

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