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A publication from Medium on personal development.

Relationship Building

In Forge. More on Medium.

Social dos and dont’s can be useful guides, but high-quality interactions require “contingent responding”

Warren Wong via Unsplash

“Five things you shouldn’t say to people who are grieving.” “Do’s and don’ts for first dates.” “Three ways to have ‘the talk’ about where your relationship is going.” We see stories with titles like these all the time. Rules of thumb for social situations can be really helpful. It’s hard to know what to say to a grieving person, and who wants to say the “wrong” thing and hurt them more? Who wouldn’t want that first date you’re excited about to go well? And who couldn’t use tips on how to approach difficult topics with a partner, like where your…

A therapist and a psychiatrist offer six effective ways to personally help solve a global crisis of connection

Photo: Larm Rmah/Unsplash

In our last post, “Why Do We Hate?” we wrote that our delusion of separateness is fueling systemic racism, violence, war, and impeding our response to imminent, global existential threats like climate change. We argued that it is urgent for us to develop our capability to connect, and extend it beyond our close inner circle.

So what can we do to develop our sense of connection?

There’s no simple solution, as this is a problem that humanity has been grappling with throughout recorded history. But there’s a greater sense of urgency now, given the problems we face. …

In this phase of the pandemic, genuine, lasting connections might feel elusive. Attunement is the key.

Photo: Priscilla Du Preez via Unsplash

Quality connections are hard to come by… especially during the pandemic and with social distancing. But even in the Before Times, genuine, lasting connections seemed elusive.

But why?

Part of the problem may include the addictive nature of smartphones and social media. During the pandemic, these devices are a lifeline to our friends and loved ones. But in non-pandemic times, being glued to our screens and devices is more of a boon for marketers and advertisers than it is for the quality of our relationships.

Then there’s the chronic stresses and anxieties we face. It often feels impossible to manage…


A publication from Medium on personal development.

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