Sign in

A publication from Medium on personal development.


In Forge. More on Medium.

Three ways to push the boundaries of who you can be

Photo by Chase Moyer on Unsplash

Every two years, I fall flat on my face — on purpose.

I’ll work my way to getting fired from a job or even quit just for the hell of it. I’ll end a romantic relationship when things probably could have been repaired. I’ll change the way I earn money from various side hustles. I’ll go from suit jackets to hoodies to see if I feel any different.

None of the changes are necessary, or even the “best” decisions per se, but each change keeps me from getting bored and helps me live a different way.

Until recently, I never…


The pandemic and anti-Black violence have our Black family reconsidering what home means to us

Photo: Tony Anderson/Getty Images

It’s a common refrain these days, especially among Black Americans: “I’ve just got to get out of this country.” But how do you actually find a new home abroad? After years of nomadic living, my family and I have recently found a place to settle, and so I can tell you this much: You have to ask yourself a couple of serious questions first — mostly about yourself.

What are you trying to solve for in your personal life?

What is your current life missing? …

Assess your tendencies and make a plan for a less stressful moving day

Photo: Hero Images/Getty Images

As someone who’s moved four times in the past four years, I tend to agree with the expression “Change your place, change your luck.” To me, moving always feels like a new beginning, an opportunity to shed the past and start fresh. But even as I’ve left cities, homes, and furniture behind, I’ve found that it’s not as easy to say goodbye to old habits.

We all have different moving styles — some people spend hours planning and organizing, while others might haphazardly throw everything in boxes — but almost all moves have one thing in common: They’re stressful. And…

The New New

We pick up and move from city to city, trying on new identities but rarely sticking with them. It’s going to cost us.

Photo: Westend61/Getty

The first time I moved, the first time I dove into the intoxicating lure of “new beginnings,” I brought few personal items with me to make my cinder-block-walled dorm room feel like home. No posters. No knickknacks to sit on our one window sill. No fairy lights. It looked like somewhere that could be wiped clean in minutes, whenever the next new beginning called, and no one would know I had been there.

I didn’t realize at the time how that would become a pattern in my life. I spent a good part of my twenties only half-unpacked wherever I…


A publication from Medium on personal development.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store