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Forge
A publication from Medium on personal development.

Masculinity

In Forge. More on Medium.

Photo: Lucas Uebel/Getty Images

I Miss Big, Wet, Embarrassing Kisses From My Father,” John DeVore wrote yesterday on his Medium site, Humungus.

It was a one-day-later reflection on a truly awful tweet—one that is (thankfully) already fading into the morass of toxicity that this election cycle has unleashed. John Cardillo, a right-wing pundit, captioned a photo of Joe Biden hugging his son with the question: “Does this look like an appropriate father/son interaction to you?”

Cardillo is plainly suggesting there is something… off… about these two men. …


The New Self-Help

Every day, I was rewarded for behavior that I was previously punished for

Book jacket for Amateur: A True Story About What Makes a Man by Thomas Page McBee
Book jacket for Amateur: A True Story About What Makes a Man by Thomas Page McBee

This story is part of The New Self-Help: 21 Books for a Better You in the 21st Century.


Men have to dig deep to uncover the sources of our hidden misogyny

Illustration: Filip Fröhlich

I spent most of my twenties in New York chasing women. With my shy, sensitive demeanor, they thought I was safe: a “nice guy.” “Boyfriend material.” But I see now that I was less interested in a relationship than the validation of a woman’s desire. Once I had it, I lost interest. I’d run off looking for the next person to give me that rush of being wanted and needed, then the next. Each time, I became deeply depressed.


Stay inside, pick an interest, become a Guy

Illustration: Laurie Rollitt

The men are at it again.


It turns out we don’t do our best work in hypercompetitive, ‘Game of Thrones’–style environments

Illustration: George(s)

Since the #MeToo movement ignited a national outcry about the rampant sexual harassment and abuse in industries from film and television to politics, workplaces have been much more attuned to the way “traditional” (some might say “toxic”) socialized masculinity can contribute to gender inequality, bias, and sexual misconduct.

... taking on and bragging about heavy workloads or long…


What the philosopher Marcus Aurelius believed about masculinity

A statue of Marcus Aurelius on the Capitoline Hill in Rome.
A statue of Marcus Aurelius on the Capitoline Hill in Rome.
Photo: chrisinthai/iStock/Getty Images Plus

Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Just be one!

Meditations, 10.16

Over the past few decades, there’s been a resurgence of interest in Stoicism. People often confuse stoicism (lower-case), a coping style that involves suppressing or concealing emotions, also called having a “stiff upper-lip,” with Stoicism (capitalized), the ancient Graeco-Roman school of philosophy. Some crudely equate “manliness” with being tough and unemotional (lower-case “stoicism”). I think there’s a more nuanced way to understand how Stoic philosophy might inform a modern man’s conception of his role in society.


Outfielder Cameron Maybin’s ‘hugs for homers’ challenges traditional notions of masculinity, and experts say that’s a very good thing

NY Yankees teammates Gleyber Torres and Cameron Maybin hug as they celebrate a two run home run against the Toronto Blue Jays
NY Yankees teammates Gleyber Torres and Cameron Maybin hug as they celebrate a two run home run against the Toronto Blue Jays
New York Yankees teammates Gleyber Torres (#25) and Cameron Maybin (#38) hug as they celebrate a two run home run in the 6th inning of their game against the Toronto Blue Jays on September 14, 2019. Photo: Cole Burston/Getty

Cameron Maybin is hitting a solid .284 for the Yankees, but the outfielder’s most winning contribution to his team is the hugs he delivers in the dugout.

Forge

A publication from Medium on personal development.

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