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Forge
A publication from Medium on personal development.

Grit

In Forge. More on Medium.

Wisdom is knowing when a helpful trait no longer serves you

Shot of a young businesswoman using her laptop while working late at the office.
Shot of a young businesswoman using her laptop while working late at the office.
Photo: AJ_Watt/Getty Images

Something I discuss often with my coaching clients is the importance of taking even the best advice with a grain of salt. There is no behavior, no trait, no habit, that leads to success 100% of the time — in fact, certain mindsets work well until they become the very things that get in your way.

Achieving anything meaningful in life — a big goal, a sense of well-being — requires an awareness of this paradox. When you know that even the qualities and practices we consider good, like the seven below, are not purely beneficial, you can rely on…


Why you can’t be successful unless you know when to give up

Photo: Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images

I come from a small town where 95% of the community practiced the same religion (I was a five percenter. AMA.). At 19, members of this faith are sent far from home to act as missionaries for two years. They can only communicate with family on Christmas and Mother’s Day. For men, going on a mission is essentially a societally imposed requirement (women also go on missions, but to a lesser extent, and it’s not “required”). And coming home early is a stain on a person and their family name. It’s the scarlet letter.

I have some friends who say…


Your inner voice is your North Star — if you can hear it

Black woman with eyes closed as subway passes by.
Black woman with eyes closed as subway passes by.
Photo: Westend61/Getty Images

Over three decades of service in the Army, including commanding four companies and a training battalion, the Major General Dee McWilliams was faced with a terrible choice in 2003.

To earn her third star, McWilliams was asked to leave her posting in Germany to return to the Pentagon, as it geared up for a war in Iraq based on what it was later determined were false reports of Saddam Hussain’s cache of weapons of mass destruction.

“I knew I’d be going back to Rumsfeld’s Pentagon, which was gearing up for a war that I felt would be a quagmire,” she…

Forge

A publication from Medium on personal development.

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