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Forge
A publication from Medium on personal development.

Coaching

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Getting your emotions involved doesn’t work. Here’s what does.

Photo: Westend61/Getty Images

There’s nothing more satisfying than telling someone whose views you can’t stand just how stupid, sexist, or racist they are. Especially when they deserve it.

Believe me, I get it. And especially right now, as many of us are desperately trying to change people’s minds on issues we’re passionate about — like the police system, our president, or wearing masks — it’s easy to let emotion carry you. But trust me, this tactic will never influence their beliefs.

Here’s what I’ve learned from more than a decade of studying persuasion: While there’s no surefire way to convince a person to…


Kim Scott, the author of Radical Candor, explains what happens when managers pretend everything is business as usual

Photo: Petar Chernaev/Getty Images

The coronavirus pandemic has disrupted the workforce in ways we’ve never experienced before. And through it all, I’ve noticed a wide range of examples of leadership — the good, the bad, and the toxic.

One of the best examples was a leader who gave everyone on their team a four-day weekend when they started working from home. They said: “Take Friday and Monday off and figure out how you’re going to rearrange your life so that you can take care of whoever is at home with you and still show up for work when possible.” …


As a certified teen life coach, I can tell you why teens are coming to us with their problems — not Mom or Dad

A smiling father and daughter stand and talk next to each other while preparing for early morning hike.
A smiling father and daughter stand and talk next to each other while preparing for early morning hike.
Photo: Thomas Barwick/DigitalVision/Getty Images

Got a teenager at home? I bet you’re on the struggle bus. Anxiety. Mood swings. Defiance. Lack of motivation. Teens are going through a lot, and the hardest part is, they don’t want to talk about it.

At least that’s how it appears. Of course they want to talk about their problems — they just don’t want to talk about them with you, their mom or dad. More and more Gen Zers are turning to me and other certified teen life coaches to share their thoughts and anxieties, find new perspectives, and feel less alone.

What is it that we…


Unproductive: ‘How long will this take?’ Productive: ‘How much time am I willing to give this?’

Credit: Luis Alvarez/Getty Images

When people learn that I’m a time management and productivity coach, they often grill me about the most effective tricks and tools. “What’s the best system? What apps or planner should I use? Got any hacks I can try?”

They’re asking the wrong questions.

Don’t get me wrong — systems like Bullet Journaling and Getting Things Done are excellent. But if you’re struggling to be productive, overhauling your process won’t help you much. To really achieve sustainable productivity, you must first learn to manage your thoughts.


How to know if it’s right for you, vet people, and set your expectations

Photo by Smart on Unsplash

During the summer of 2016, Erica Charles had an epiphany: She was unhappy. She’d been married for 11 years, worked in human resources at a job she liked, had two children, and was attending therapy. On paper, her life seemed to be going well. Still, something wasn’t clicking, and she suspected it might be her marriage.

Around that time, an Instagram rabbit hole led Charles to the account of an online life coaching practice called Blush. …


Working with one means getting comfortable with self-reflection. And lists. Lots of lists.

A young businesswoman confidently delivers a presentation at a conference
A young businesswoman confidently delivers a presentation at a conference
Photo: Mikolette/E+/Getty

Five years ago, I lost a job that I really loved — not an easy moment, but not an entirely unexpected one, either. I figured I was built for it. I mean, I’m old. I’m solid. I’d helped other people through rough times. I could change when I had to. I was going to make it, my way.

Then the calendar started its inevitable progress, and weeks started to slip by. I slogged through my unemployment by driving around in my truck, catching free wireless in the occasional commercial parking lot. Eventually I began filling time by buying stuff at…

Forge

A publication from Medium on personal development.

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