Laura Vanderkam
Stop Telling Yourself You’re Missing Your Kid’s Childhood
The eternal problem of working parents can be solved with a shift in mindset
Dear Laura,
I generally work from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., with a 30-minute commute. I know this is a fairly normal work schedule, but now that my toddler has a set sleep schedule, she’s basically down by 7 p.m. each night. You do the math: I see my kid for just 30 minutes a day! Does being a working parent mean I’ll miss her whole childhood? Should I just quit my job?
Signed,
30-Minute Mom
Dear 30-Minute Mom:
Let’s separate out these questions. If you would prefer to be a stay-at-home parent, and that works for your family financially, great. However, if you enjoy your work, and/or your family is better off with the income — which is the case for the vast majority of families — then stop telling yourself that you’re missing your kid’s childhood. There’s a better way to frame this situation.
First, I’m quite sure you spend more than 30 minutes per day with your child. Family time doesn’t only occur at 4 p.m. or 10 a.m. for that matter. If she goes to bed at 7 p.m., I’m taking a wild guess that she does not wake up precisely at…
