Member-only story
Procrastination Is a Relationship Problem
Fear of disappointing others is an enemy of productivity
Martha’s New Year’s resolution was to start therapy, but she didn’t show up to my office until April. In her defense, she came in to talk about her trouble with deadlines.
Martha, who worked remotely as a pop-culture reporter for a popular website, told me in our sessions that her biggest challenge was procrastination. Her job had become uninteresting, and she would delay an interview or rewrites on an article until she convinced herself that there wasn’t enough time left for the article to be great. This generated anxiety, which further fueled the procrastination. She asked for extensions often, and her once-generous editors were growing frustrated.
Like most human challenges, Martha’s struggle originated in her relationships.
Unless you’re a doomsday prepper living off the grid, your job is relational — which means that procrastination is often a relationship problem. Anxiety in your relationships — with your colleagues, your family, and the larger world — can lead to worrying about how people will respond to your work, or slacking when someone else will step in to do it for you. It can make you distance yourself from those who expect you to do well, or pretend that you’re more capable than you are. It…
