One way to apologize better

Amy Shearn
Forge
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1 min readMar 28, 2021

🤐 Today’s tip: No “buts” allowed.

Here’s a great example of how not to apologize: “I’m sorry you felt upset about that, but it wasn’t actually that big of a deal.” It looks like an apology; it smells like an apology; but an apology it is not.

And yet, while they can seem tricky, a good apology is not actually that hard to master. As Nikki Campo writes on Elemental: “Validation underpins all good apologies (accepting the other person’s reality as true, without judgment), believability matters (no “buts,” defensiveness, or excuses), and the undesirable behavior must change in the future.” If you can do those three things, your relationships are sure to improve.

💙 More from Forge on how to apologize:

A Shouldn’t-Be-Necessary-But-Amazingly-Still-Is Guide to Apologizing
Read more >>

The Emotionally Intelligent Way to Apologize
Read more >>

A Real Apology Isn’t 7 Minutes Long
Read more >>

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Published in Forge

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Amy Shearn
Amy Shearn

Written by Amy Shearn

Formerly: Editor of Creators Hub, Human Parts // Ongoingly: Novelist, Essayist, Person