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One way to apologize better

🤐 Today’s tip: No “buts” allowed.

Here’s a great example of how not to apologize: “I’m sorry you felt upset about that, but it wasn’t actually that big of a deal.” It looks like an apology; it smells like an apology; but an apology it is not.

And yet, while they can seem tricky, a good apology is not actually that hard to master. As Nikki Campo writes on Elemental: “Validation underpins all good apologies (accepting the other person’s reality as true, without judgment), believability matters (no “buts,” defensiveness, or excuses), and the undesirable behavior must change in the future.” If you can do those three things, your relationships are sure to improve.

💙 More from Forge on how to apologize:

A Shouldn’t-Be-Necessary-But-Amazingly-Still-Is Guide to Apologizing

The Emotionally Intelligent Way to Apologize

A Real Apology Isn’t 7 Minutes Long

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