Why You Should Name Your Deepest Desires (Even If You Think They’re Silly)
Really. Write them down, and the rest will take care of itself.
So. What do you want? Like, actually WANT? Desire, with all of your heart? Dream about? Think about in your spare time? Have constructed elaborate gorgeous fantasies about in your head? Your heart’s truest, most delicious and delightful desires?
And does anybody else know about these desires? Have you even written them down to yourself?
I’m guessing not.
This week, I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, Simone Grace Seol’s Joyful Marketing. On the surface, it’s a podcast about marketing your business, but more than that, it’s about how to accept yourself and do life from that place. Simone’s recent guest was the life coach Janette Dalgliesh, who brought up a lovely concept I hadn’t really thought about. It’s that there’s power in admitting to yourself that you desire something, and that power is completely independent of whether the desire is feasible or if you actually achieve it.
“We can let it be okay that you can have a desire and not have to fulfill it,” Janette said. “We have to. If we think that we can’t have a thing, then we silence the part of us that wants the thing.”
She continued, “One of the things that will always be on my unapologetic desire list is a hug from my dad. And I can never fulfill that desire because he died 10 years ago. So I’m never going to get that in this lifetime as a physical thing. And that doesn’t stop me wanting it. It would be ridiculous for me to say, ‘Well, now that he’s not here, I can’t fulfill it, therefore I’ll take it off the list.’ So being able to say, you know what, it’s okay. My capacity to say there’s a thing that I want and I know I can’t have it, and at the same time not remove it from the list because that would be a lie, there’s a power in that, in being able to be completely and utterly honest with yourself about what you truly want.”
So often, in myself and my audience, I see our authentic, unapologetic desires locked away because 1) we think they’re silly, 2) we don’t think we’re worthy of them, 3) we’re afraid we’ll be judged for going after…