Life When Your Brain Doesn’t Like You

Accepting and living with depression

Nick Barlow
Forge

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I have depression.

I’ve spent too much of my life not admitting that and not accepting it, that now it feels important that I say it up front. Naming it and identifying it is an important part of understanding it and the effects it has had on me over the years.

Because this isn’t something new, this is something that’s been part of me for a long while, sometimes there and sometimes not, taking me to uncomfortable downs before receding for a while, making me think it was “just a bad patch” I could forget about as soon as I was past it. But then came the last few years, when the pressure of so many things was pushing me down even before a global pandemic came along to remind us that all our plans are always contingent.

With some parts of our body it’s easy to admit that they don’t work properly and need some assistance to work properly. My eyes are the wrong shape, so I wear glasses to allow me to see clearly, and in the past week I’ve seen a friend who needs extra oxygen because their lungs aren’t working properly and another who talked about the strangeness of walking without a limp after having their hip replaced recently. When it’s parts like that going wrong, we’re happy to talk about how we deal with it, how we cope with it and how we fix…

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Nick Barlow
Forge
Writer for

Former academic and politician, now walking, cycling and working out what comes next. https://linktr.ee/nickbarlow