It’s Okay to Eat Taco Bell All This Month and Never Put the Tree Up
This year has sucked. It’s fine and fitting if your Christmas sucks, too.
It’s December, and my former colleague Courtney has adopted Elf on the Shelf as a pandemic holiday project. Based on the 2005 book of the same name, Elf on the Shelf is a newish “tradition” in which parents position a plastic elf in new locations around the home every day in the countdown to Christmas. Each morning, children are tasked with locating the Elf, whom they’re told is watching over them and reporting on their activities to Santa. In some families, the Elf leaves behind presents for the kids, or hand-written notes, or candy. Of course, all of this is frequently documented on social media.
Every day this month, Courtney has posted a charming photo of her plastic Elf caught up in some new antic. Here he is folding laundry! There he goes, leading a parade of toys in a loop around the living room! Each tableau she’s created is detailed, each photograph of the Elf meticulously framed. The Elf even leaves behind Christmas ornaments and poems.
Witnessing this shit is giving me anxiety. How does Courtney find the brain space and energy to do this all month long? Courtney is an upbeat, generous person, so she probably doesn’t bat an eyelash at it. Still…
