Who We’ll Be After This

It Took a Global Pandemic to Change My Spending Habits

I’ve been forced to face my most persistent fear: my finances

John Gorman
Forge
Published in
3 min readJun 25, 2020

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Photo: FG Trade/Getty Images

If you wanted to sum up my complicated 37-year relationship with money in just one word, that word would be “triggered.” I’d break out into a peculiar kind of cold sweat whenever I logged into the Wells Fargo app on my phone.

I didn’t grow up with a lot. In my twenties, my bank balances were often negative, so I didn’t even bother checking them. My diet consisted mostly of pasta and frozen peas, and it was a coin flip as to whether or not my lights would turn on. The vast majority of my income went toward drowning my sorrows at downtown Buffalo dives while loading the jukebox with Wu-Tang Clan.

But even later on, as I started earning a solid income as a freelance writer, my financial strategy hadn’t changed. It was always “don’t ask, don’t look.” I told myself that all I needed to do was make so much that I couldn’t possibly spend it all, which I mostly succeeded at. I figured this is just the way I’d live.

Then came Covid-19. With the constant barrage of dystopian news, my mind immediately switched into scarcity-driven panic. I asked myself, “What do I have to do to make sure I can survive on my own for as…

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Published in Forge

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John Gorman
John Gorman

Written by John Gorman

Yarn Spinner + Brand Builder + Renegade. Award-winning storyteller with several million served. For inquiries: johngormanwriter@gmail.com

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