Instead of Resolutions, Write Yourself a Narrative Arc
Here’s a controversial (but not really) opinion: New Year’s resolutions are a complete waste of time.
I know, what a hot take. But stick with me here. I’ve given this some thought. And, after spending the last two years of my journalism career interviewing experts for pandemic life advice, I’ve gotten some insight as to why resolutions don’t work.
If you’re the type of person who feels spurred into action by a glorified to-do list then, by all means, let ‘er rip. But for the rest of us — an overwhelming majority, I suspect—a bunch of high stakes action-items aren’t likely to inspire anything that sticks. Chores are for putting off.
Far more enticing is a storyline: a narrative arc with a “why” and a “how.” The “what” can’t happen in a vacuum. Or rather, it won’t.
As the author and psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb told me in a 2020 interview for Forge, stories are how we make meaning of our lives. We are protagonists living out our respective plots. In that sense, psychotherapy acts as a creative exercise, whereby the therapist helps the patient tweak their self-narrative and “get unstuck.”
I imagine that new habits and creative risks come about in much the same way—not from a list of items to accomplish, but the story of an ideal year. This new year, I’m asking myself where I want to be at the end of it, and what I can do to move myself toward it. Most of all, I’ll be asking why.
