The Joy of Making Messy Choices
Pummeling toward efficiency can come at the cost of a more connected, interesting life
Last week, I got a text that filled me with dread.
I’m in a pickle. Can you come help me put the door back on my dryer?
It was from a neighbor who I’m becoming friends with, but who I don’t know well. It was on a day when my kids were at camp and I was flying through work, errands and volunteer commitments at breakneck pace. It was hot out and I was already sweaty.
I considered saying no, thinking about every article I’ve read, and written, about good boundaries. And then I remembered my new guiding principle: Make the messy choice.
Call it the existential awakening of an extrovert coming out of a pandemic winter spent hunched over a laptop, but lately I have been beyond smitten with the complicated weirdness of other humans. There are so many loud voices in our lives urging us toward an idealized version of efficient simplicity; life hacks and apps that promise to streamline our workflow or our daily calendar with one weird trick. Ruthlessly optimizing your personal efficiency, though, can come at the cost of a more connected, more interesting life, what social scientists call “rich reciprocal bonds.”
