I Just Don’t Want to Be Busy Anymore

Some changes I’m making

Elena Salaks
Forge
Published in
5 min readSep 21, 2021

--

Photo: MirageC/Getty Images

I work in tech, I’m a parent, and I’m struggling with burnout.

If I’m honest, I’ve been running on fumes for a while. But there were enough milestones along the way to keep chasing that next moment of reprieve. The vacation. The promotion. The vaccine. The remodel.

But then the fumes ran out. And a bunch of life things hit at once, and I couldn’t see any reprieve in my horizon.

At first I tried to stay in denial, flooding myself with positive affirmations in an attempt to manifest mental calmness.

“No way I’m burned out. Look at all the women that are actually suffering. Who am I but a privileged white chick taking up space.”

But I couldn’t shake the feeling. I’m an optimist by nature and I no longer recognized myself and where I was in my headspace. I worried about how I showed up for my family and team. I was experiencing all the symptoms of burnout I’m reading about in Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle — emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and a feeling of low personal accomplishment.

I recently watched a presentation by Ashley Willis where she explained that people leave entire industries because of this. And it’s often misdiagnosed as depression. I believe it. I had started counting how much f-you money I had saved so I could just hide under a rock.

Once I accepted that yes, maybe I really am feeling this burnout thing everyone is talking about; I knew I had to be intentional in making a change around things that were giving me chronic stress.

Here’s what I did:

I figured out what I wanted and wrote it down so I don’t get lost again.

For me, I realized I wanted to be more present in my children’s lives. I no longer wanted to optimize my life with productivity apps and outsource activities to nannies (no shame though to those that do). I wanted to bask in all the mundane parenting things before my kids were all grown up. It irked me to think that my oldest may already be halfway through his “living-under-my-roof” chapter of his life.

--

--

How to Handle a Workplace Bully

5 min read

May 2, 2019

5 Ways to Take Charge of Your Emotions At Work

5 min read

Apr 19, 2017

How High Performers Manage Their Boss

3 min read

Mar 2

How to write a self-evaluation that will impress your boss.

6 min read

Dec 14, 2016

7 things the autistic person in your workplace needs from you

7 min read

Jan 2, 2017

Feeling Overwhelmed? You Need an MVD—That’s Minimum Viable Day

7 min read

May 18, 2021

8 Communication Hacks I Use To Be More Assertive As a Young Employee

4 min read

Sep 9, 2022

Learn these two simple techniques that will dramatically improve your whiteboard skills

15 min read

Jul 17, 2018

7 Things You Should Stop Doing at Work, If You Want To Be Successful

7 min read

Jan 17, 2017

How to stay healthy when you work 60+ hours a week- including the exact workouts and meal plans to…

15 min read

Mar 28, 2016

Elena Salaks
Forge
Writer for

On a mission to have it all — a sleep deprived mktg/tech professional, mom, wife, friend & human rights activist. In US, originally from Ukraine