Member-only story
I Don’t Want Your Self-Help Hacks
People with mental illness can’t will their way back to happiness
Their profile photos are gleaming. They’re on an island, or sprawled on a fast car, or clutching a piece of fruit. Every day, their articles crop up on my feed, each one promising betterment. With their clickbait titles and words that barely nick the surface, they want me to believe that they can make me happier, smarter, cuter, thinner, lovable, productive, and possibly a millionaire.
All I need to do is sign up for their newsletter, download their $29.99 eBook, and take their $499 online course.
All I need to do is believe… and click to buy.
They’ll start their pitch with a personal anecdote that makes readers believe they’re “just like us” — or at least they were until they tried whatever it is they’re now peddling. The relatability is merely a vehicle for the sale. They’ll then introduce the challenge or tension, deliver their proposed action, and boom! Welcome to the resolution. All lessons have been learned.
Promise peddlers survive the apocalypse by teaching us how to survive the apocalypse, but what are their credentials beyond the 100 million views they’ve garnered on articles that guarantee The Promised Land? Are they researchers, psychologists, sociologists, or doctors? How can they deliver solutions to all of our problems when their sample size is one? How can I buy what someone is selling when they’ve only repackaged what has been sold a hundred times before? How do I even relate to someone whose advice stems from a limited, privileged point of view?
They preach mental strength without understanding that people who have mental illness can’t will their way back to happiness. When I was ordering razor blades off Amazon four years ago, I wasn’t reading articles about “how to wake up at 4 a.m.” because I was already awake at 4 a.m., thinking this whole life thing was a scam, a cruel joke, an exercise in futility. And wouldn’t it be lovely to fall into a permanent sleep?
Does your newsletter overcome that?
Let me be honest. Most days, I feel numb. There exists no anxiety, fear, or sadness, only a blankness, which is more terrifying because I’d rather feel something than…