Beyond Small Talk

How to Talk to a Teenager

Don’t ask about school or the future, for one thing

Zachary Maxwell
Forge
Published in
3 min readNov 21, 2019

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Illustration: Heeje Min Heo

This story is part of How to Talk to Anyone, Forge’s guide to moving past the chitchat and truly connecting.

AsAs a senior in high school, I can tell you that it is hard to talk to teenagers. We’re moody, acne-ridden, hormonal messes who spend more time in front of a screen than interacting with other people.

But you know what? It’s kinda hard to talk to you, too. For one thing, you adults keep asking us the same questions! (School is fine, thanks. Yes, applying to college is stressful.)

The holidays are upon us, and I’m here to warn you: You may find yourself having to converse with one of us. If you do it right, you (and they) might even enjoy it. Here are a few pointers.

Feel out the situation

With teenagers, you never really know what you’re going to get. So the best thing to do when confronted with a teenager is to feel out what kind of mood they’re in and how receptive they are to chatting.

If they seem to be in a cheerful mood, that’s great. Approach them. If they don’t seem to want to talk, are pointedly hunched over a phone, or are actively avoiding proximity or eye contact with you…

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Zachary Maxwell
Forge
Writer for

Zachary Maxwell is a filmmaker and high school senior attending public school in New York City