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What to Do If You’re a Rambler
The common habit of babbling on and on can make you come across as uncertain, unfocused, and unprepared
Did you know that most people will lose interest in a conversation if you talk longer than 40 seconds uninterrupted?
Our bodies release dopamine when we talk about ourselves. The more we talk — and hear ourselves talk — the better we feel, so the more we talk. We become addicted to that good feeling. It’s no wonder that, on average, people spend 60% of their conversations talking about themselves and up to 80% when using social media.
Couple that with feeling nervous during job interviews or challenging meetings, and you may end up running your mouth a lot. I previously shared the horror story of a stressful one-on-one meeting with one of my managers. The more he smiled and silently nodded, the more I kept babbling and rambling. On and on and on…
Some of the best professional advice I received was to know when to shut my mouth. I met with an executive several years ago, and he shared some valuable feedback.
He had been watching me present, pitch, debate, and negotiate in meetings. I don’t remember his exact words, so I’m paraphrasing a bit here: “You have to know when to stop and be quiet. Pay attention, read the room, and recognize when you’ve won the argument. I’ve watched you. You keep going for the kill to hammer it home. You’ve already won, but you keep talking and selling. Stop. Just stop. Take your win and walk away.”
That feedback burned into my brain. From that moment on, I have been hyperaware during meetings and conversations.
I may have 10 selling points, but if someone says “Yes” after the third one, I stop and take the win. There’s no need to run the conversation into the ground with my burning desire to get through my whole pitch.
For example, many years ago, my startup co-founders and I were pitching to raise our Seed round. I had created a full pitch deck with the company’s vision and mission, our founding team, the product concept, competitive landscape, business model, product roadmap, revenue forecast, the works.
