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The Four Steps That Help Me Embrace Constructive Criticism
It can be difficult to receive feedback without getting defensive. Our brains treat criticism, even constructive criticism, as a threat to our self-esteem. As our hearts start pounding, we want to shout, “But it’s not my fault! I tried my best!”
This is a normal reaction, and certainly one that I’ve experienced. Throughout my career as an engineer and a manager, I have both received and given plenty of notes, critiques, and suggestions. What has helped me become more open to feedback — welcoming of feedback, even — is adopting what I call the SAIG mindset, short for separate, appreciate, intent, growth.
The SAIG mindset helps me to stay positive, so I can make the most out of constructive feedback. Not only has it allowed me to learn a ton from many of my colleagues, it has also strengthened my relationships with them. Here’s how it works.
Separate the human from the work
Sometimes, when someone tells us that something is wrong with our work, our brains translate that as, something is wrong with us. But those are two very different statements, and it’s important that you don’t let feedback on your professional behaviors feel like judgment on you as a human being.
I’m confident that I am an awesome and caring person — this is something that’s not on the table for discussion. At the same time, I can always improve my effectiveness at work. When I’m able to separate myself from my work, I don’t feel attacked or shamed by feedback, so I’m able to take it in and think about how I can do better.
Appreciate the effort that goes into constructive feedback
It’s much easier to say nothing at all than it is to offer constructive criticism. People share their feedback with me because they care about my growth and the success of the organization. When someone gives you feedback, take a moment to be grateful for it — it means they’re paying attention and they care.
Assume positive intent
People get defensive when they receive feedback if they think the person giving it has negative intentions — for…
