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How to Handle a Workplace Bully
They’re more common than most people realize
It often starts off small: a joke from a co-worker that feels mean-spirited, or a scolding from a manager that crosses a line. You force yourself to laugh it off, or shrug it off, and you go on with your day.
But when that isolated incident becomes a pattern — every interaction with that co-worker contains an uncomfortable needling, a boss continually serves up more anger than constructive feedback — it begins to look a lot like something we tend to associate more with the middle school cafeteria than the office: bullying.
That’s exactly what happened to Magan (who requested that her last name be withheld to protect her privacy) in 2017, when she was working as a staff development coordinator at an addiction treatment center in Tennessee. A co-worker made it a habit to needle Magan, 33, about the fact that she was single, and while she initially laughed it off, things began to escalate. Colleagues would join in and egg the co-worker on, she recalls, even when Magan said she didn’t want to discuss her dating life at work.
Whenever she got visibly upset, she says, the offender would tell her she was being too sensitive, or, sometimes, tell other people that Magan was moody. Although some colleagues confided in Magan that their co-worker’s behavior made them uncomfortable, no one was willing to call out the bullying.
“I didn’t feel like anyone was willing to be a public ally,” Magan says.
Workplace bullying, defined by the Workplace Bullying Institute as repeated mistreatment that’s verbally abusive, threatening, humiliating, or interferes with work performance, is more common than many people realize. A recent report from the recruiting firm Jobvite found that more U.S. employees have been bullied at work in the last two years (14%) than sexually harassed (9%).
Despite the number of people who are bullied at work, though, few report it. According to the Jobvite report, more than half the employees who were bullied at work in the last two years didn’t file a complaint. While the #MeToo movement has brought more awareness to the issue of sexual harassment in the workplace, human resources consultant Lynne Curry, PhD, doesn’t believe that it’s had…
