How to Give a Better Pep Talk
The most effective way to get your friends through every job interview, high-stakes pitch, or meeting with a scary boss
Situation: Your friend or co-worker is 10 minutes out from a crucial job interview, a high-stakes client pitch, or an annual review with their scary boss. They text you that they’re feeling nervous, anxious, panicked. Do you text back: a) “You’ve got this!”; b) “You’ve got this. Don’t be nervous!”; or c) “You’ve got this. Remember to make eye contact, smile, and speak clearly!”
Turns out, none of the above are particularly helpful. When done well, pep talks aren’t about offering empty platitudes, talking someone out of feeling a feeling, or sharing unsolicited advice. Instead, a good pep talk accomplishes three things: It centers the recipient, acknowledges their emotional stress, and ultimately reminds them that you have utter confidence in their capabilities.
“Usually what people need to hear is reassurance and acknowledgement that they are struggling,” says blogger Elise Cripe, who wrote a book of pep talks in 2016. “A good pep talk recognizes and supports the fact that the receiver might be struggling but encourages them to try anyway.” An artful and effective pep talk is one rooted in empathy, not rah-rah positivity.
