How to Get a Friend to Put Away Their Phone Without Being a Jerk
Digital distractions can get in the way of being fully present with the people we love. Here’s how to (politely) do something about it.
Are we ever exclusively in our friends’ company? Our phones are almost assuredly present and ready to interrupt us with a poorly timed notification. Who hasn’t seen a friend divert their attention, mid-conversation, to reflexively check their phone? Most of us simply accept these interruptions as a consequence of our times.
Unfortunately, distraction is contagious. When smokers get together, the first one to take out their pack sends a cue, and when others notice, they do the same. Likewise, digital devices can prompt others’ behaviors. When one person takes out their phone at dinner, it acts as an external trigger. Soon, others are lost in their screens at the expense of the conversation.
Psychologists call this phenomenon social contagion. Researchers have found that it influences our behaviors, from drug use to over-eating. It’s hard to eat healthy if your spouse and kids insist on mowing down a dozen frosted donuts as you pick at your kale salad; it’s equally difficult to change your tech habits when your family and friends shun you in favor of their screens.
