SCRIPTS
How to Get Your Family to Stop Questioning Your Parenting Decisions
A script for coping with unsolicited parental advice
From the look on my grandmother’s face when I lifted my shirt to nurse my newborn son, you’d have thought I’d completely stripped down.
“When I was raising kids, nobody breastfed,” she said, with an expression that somehow communicated both concern and disdain. “Maybe he’d be less fussy if you gave him bottles.”
Sitting there with a screaming days-old infant on my chest, it took all the strength in my sleep-deprived body not to respond with a line equally as crass. (To be honest, it would have required even more strength to come up with something.) “Formula is pricey, and we can’t really afford the extra expense right now,” I said, as calmly as I could muster. “And the pediatrician told us breastfeeding is really healthy.”
My grandmother changed the subject, and my son ate his lunch. But it didn’t have any lasting effect. This was only the first example in a steady stream of unsolicited parenting advice from well-meaning relatives.
When you accept help, make sure everyone involved is clear about what goes with it.
