How to Get Over Losing Your Job
Use the same coping strategies you’d use for a breakup
Sure, maybe you could have been more attentive. Communication could have been better. You’re not making the effort you once did. But still, it’s hard to accept that you’re saying goodbye.
You’ve been fired, or laid off, or made a gut-twisting decision to leave a job you loved. And now you’re heartbroken.
It this sounds a lot like a romantic breakup, well, that’s because it is. Research has shown that being let go from a job can inspire a lot of the same feelings as losing a partner: resentment, regret, rejection, even grief. And often, those feelings are harder to shake when it’s a job, not a relationship, that’s ending. According to Nancy Hay, the director of the What Works Centre For Wellbeing, a London-based organization that analyzes research on well-being, getting fired or laid off leaves deeper emotional scars than even divorce or the death of a spouse.
“It’s about loss,” says counseling psychologist Lisa Orbé-Austin, co-owner of the career-counseling firm Dynamic Transitions. “Especially related to work loss, it can be complicated because it’s not only a loss of a job. It can also be identity loss.” As anyone who’s ever felt a swell of pride during what-do-you-do small talk can attest, it’s easy to blur the lines…
