How to Emotionally Reconnect With People
In this phase of the pandemic, genuine, lasting connections might feel elusive. Attunement is the key.
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Quality connections are hard to come by… especially during the pandemic and with social distancing. But even in the Before Times, genuine, lasting connections seemed elusive.
But why?
Part of the problem may include the addictive nature of smartphones and social media. During the pandemic, these devices are a lifeline to our friends and loved ones. But in non-pandemic times, being glued to our screens and devices is more of a boon for marketers and advertisers than it is for the quality of our relationships.
Then there’s the chronic stresses and anxieties we face. It often feels impossible to manage all of the things coming at us. We seem to have a never-ending to do list. And the pandemic has increased this stress and anxiety to an existential level. So many of us move through our days chronically stressed and preoccupied with our own thoughts and worries, making us unable to really listen to each other for long.
So what can we do?
We each can work on the almost lost art of tuning in to each other, especially to the people in our vicinity, but even to people we communicate with these days only by phone, FaceTime, or Zoom. The key to this is “attunement”: The ability to be aware of our own state of mind and body while also tuning in and connecting to another person. Attunement is the ability to “make contact” with someone, not only at a thought level, but at a gut and emotional level, too. It’s being able to stay in tune and in sync with both the feelings of others and one’s own feelings, not just in a single moment of understanding or empathy, but over time, during the unpredictable twists and turns of an interaction.
Highly attuned connections come in many forms. Imagine two friends in a conversation that’s flowing really well, with both friends feeling really heard and understood. Or think about two musicians playing a duet, listening to each other attentively, moving together, emotionally in sync. Or picture two basketball teammates on a fast break down the court, always aware of each other and the opposing players in this rapidly…
