How to Disappoint the Right People
As organizational psychologist Adam Grant writes, “part of setting healthy boundaries is deciding who you’re going to let down.”
But, if I don’t go to her party, she’ll be so disappointed. I can’t tell you the number of times that kind of thought has gone through my head.
See, I am a card-carrying, recovering-but-still-struggling people pleaser and this kind of mindset and the resulting actions have easily wasted years of my short life on this planet. But, I recently came across a tweet from organizational psychologist and author Adam Grant that has turned my people-pleasing tendencies upside-down.
I have been doing it wrong all along. In my mind, I considered every obligation equally. While it doesn’t make sense logically (now that I look at it), calling my mom on her birthday and remembering to read a friend of a friend’s (usually terrible) screenplay were right next to each other on my to-do list.
Adam Grant has it right. Not all obligations are created equal. And everyone’s time is finite, so we need to choose to disappoint the right people.
