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A Good Rejection Is Kind But Clear
Sometimes the answer is no
We all have to say no sometimes. But whether you are rejecting someone personally or on behalf of an organization you represent, it is essential to do so with good grace and human decency.
I’ve been on the receiving side of enough rejections to know they can be painful. Long before my novel was published, I started submitting work for publication. The date was December 29, 2008 — which I know specifically because it is the very first entry in my ridiculously thorough submissions spreadsheet. According to that spreadsheet, to date I’ve garnered dozens of acceptances. I’ve also received exactly 295 rejections.
As you might imagine, I’ve received all kinds of rejection letters: kind rejections soliciting more work; condescending rejections to the tune of “Dear Writer, Don’t quit writing!”; rude rejections that seemed to imply the work had never even been read; mistaken rejections for work I didn’t even write; rejections that came as many as six years late (!); and many, many boilerplate form rejections.
In the beginning, as an unknown writer submitting to dozens of publications, it was all too easy to think of the nameless, faceless editors who passed on my work — of any gatekeepers, for that matter — as the enemy. Every rejection letter stung. I became embittered and self-righteous. What gave these people the authority to reject my work, my creative soul? Who were they, anyway?
As it turned out, they were me. In the first few months of my new job as editor in chief of the literary magazine Epiphany, some rejection letters were sent out that were less than sensitive to our community. As a brand new EIC, I found myself in the uncomfortable position of having to apologize for these letters and take quick action to ensure that, from then on, the notes we sent out to writers whose work we had to decline were as thoughtful as they possibly could be.
The process of revising our boilerplate form rejection gave me the opportunity to consider how we can all be more humane when we say no.
Respect the applicant
Because anyone who risks sending you their work, or inquiring after employment, is making themself vulnerable, executive coach Peter…
