It’s Time to Build a ‘Happiness Fence’

What it is and why it’s critical in the modern world

This is part one in a series. The second part explains how exactly how to build a happiness fence.

Life in the modern world is full of dogs shitting on your lawn. Let me explain. Up until the pandemic, I was the quintessential “people-pleaser.” My calendar was packed from morning ’til night with meetings, coffees, lunches, drinks, and more work and social commitments than a human is capable of managing day-to-day. I had no room for me, no time for a relationship, and certainly zero space for the family I keep saying that I want to build. I ran around town because I genuinely enjoy people, I love my work, and I bought into this idea that busy equals successful. Turns out, it does not. My schedule was punishing. I was unhappy. And life just seemed to exhaust me. All because I had zero boundaries.

“Boundaries” is that word that therapists and life coaches use all the time to mean the line between you and other humans. If your boundaries are healthy, though they may be sometimes challenging to maintain, there is a clear line. You — and your emotional life — are distinct from needy and demanding friends, family members, colleagues, bosses, clients, neighbors, and the like. There is room for you, your own thoughts, your own feelings, your own…