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Habits Are Overrated
Trying to build a habit can backfire if you fall for this trap
These days, when someone says they want to form a “habit,” what they often mean is that they want to make drudgery effortless. That is, they don’t want to actually do the work, rather they want to have done it — past tense.
- “I want to build a writing habit” really means, “I hate writing, but I’ve always wanted to write a book.”
- “I want to make exercise a habit” is code for: “I hate exercising, but I want to have already worked out so I can feel and look better.”
- “I want to make a habit of getting up early,” translates into, “I want to effortlessly wake up, even though I can’t stand it. Now, where’s my coffee!?!”
The promise of doing something difficult with no effort is what’s made habits so hot in the self-help section. The trouble is, trying to build a habit is often a self-defeating trap. Building a habit for the wrong behavior is like trying to hammer in a nail with a screwdriver. It’s possible, but it’s pretty foolish, and you’ll likely hurt yourself.
The Habit Trap
Let’s start with answering the question, “What is a habit?”
A habit is an impulse to do a behavior with little or no conscious thought.
Brushing your teeth, riding a bicycle, taking a shower —each are actions you can do without really thinking, evidenced by the fact you can think of something else while you’re doing them.
But not all behaviors can become habits. Many behaviors require conscious effort to perform or improve upon.
For instance, if you’ve already mastered a song on a musical instrument, you can play it with little thought or effort — but learning the song before it’s memorized requires deliberate practice.
Getting better often requires focusing intensely and consciously on your mistakes, the very opposite of a habit.
People get caught in the habit trap when they mistakenly believe a behavior should be a habit, but despite their expectation, it’s still not effortless. Then, instead of blaming the faulty methodology espoused by many books and gurus, they blame themselves and quit.
