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The New Self-Help
Fear of Aging Is a Technology Problem
This story is part of The New Self-Help: 21 Books for a Better You in the 21st Century.
It’s no wonder we’re afraid of getting older. The so-called problem of aging is trumpeted everywhere we turn. We hear the message that aging is a great social ill, a necessary evil, a drain on society, and an affront to aesthetics. The way people talk about old age, you’d think it was a scourge akin to leprosy, or an annoying houseguest who shows up and never leaves. We, the aging, are viewed as a burden instead of a resource.
In the dominant culture, where technology reigns, information is valued far more than wisdom. But there is a difference between the two. Information involves the acquisition, organization, and dissemination of facts; a storing-up of physical data. Wisdom adds another equally crucial function: the emptying and quieting of the mind, the application of the heart, and the alchemy of reason and feeling.
In the wisdom mode, we’re not processing information, analytically or sequentially. We’re standing back and viewing the whole, discerning what matters and what does not, weighing the meaning and depth of things.
This quality of wisdom is rare in American culture. More often, we have knowledgeable people who pretend to be wise, but who, unfortunately, have not cultivated the quality of mind from which wisdom truly arises. When we spend time in societies where the young seek out the wisdom of their elders, we become aware of how upside-down American values are.
A few years ago I visited a village in India where I had once spent a great deal of time. There, I met with a dear friend, who said to me, “Oh, Ram Dass, you’re looking so much older!” Because I live in the United States, my first reaction was defensive; inwardly, I thought to myself, “Gee, I thought I was looking pretty good.”
But when I paused to take in the tone of my friend’s voice, this reaction melted instantly. I heard the respect with which he’d addressed me, as if to say, “You’ve done it, my friend! You’ve grown old! You’ve earned the respect due an elder now, someone we can rely on and to whom we can listen.”
